asperger's.

I'm feeling... mixed.  

I don't know whether to be happy, or sad, or angry.

Someone, who I have been really mad at for a really long time, most likely has an illness that now makes it understandable for them to have been the way they have been to me and others for a very long time now.

I have been so angry at this person, that I have really limited how much time I have spent with them.  I have written really angry letters to them, and never sent them.  I have considered never having contact with them because they have hurt me so badly... but now I am regretting all of those things because I am understanding that person more than I ever have.

I do not want to say who this is.  I just wanted to generically say how I am experiencing finding this out.

When I talk about it with Josh or my mom, I am pretty factual about what I'm finding out and how I'm dealing with it, but it takes everything inside of me to not start crying or not to breakdown.

Everything that this person has done to hurt me...I am now understanding why they have done those things.

I wish I would have known this earlier, so I could understand how to best be around this person without becoming so angry.

I am reading a book that is helping me understand the life of this person, and what they have experienced, and why they have done the things they have done.  

It's just so odd to think that someone is a jerk for a long time, and then realize that you really shouldn't have been mad at them, because they have a form of Autism and they couldn't help being that way.  It is really making me think...

if.

If I worried about what everyone thinks, I would probably be a very superficial, boring person.

I deleted this post and am now writing something different. (I don't know how to delete a blog post, just the content.)

If I wanted to please everyone, I would be a very unhappy person.

Luckily, I don't.

To the person who most recently wrote to me and made a very out of line comment about something that has nothing to do with them, THANK YOU.

I am now a little stronger than I was last week.  Have a good day!

appreciate.

I'm on my way out the door to go on a run.  


I don't know if this blog post really has a point to it, I just wanted to say "hi" to all of you who read it, and let you know that I'll be thinking of you on my run.  A lot of you helped me through the last few years, and when I run, I think about the past few years a lot, so I will be thinking of you and appreciating you.


You know who you are, I don't have to list your names.


I hope you're all having a lovely day :)