waves.

Something that I'm reflecting on tonight is the inevitable fact that people weave in and out of our lives.

I have very amazing friends that I wouldn't ever trade for anything.  

Two years ago, a lot was going on in my life.  I graduated college on May 3rd, and finished student teaching my kindergartners on May 16th.  That was a Friday.   

With the help of several friends, when I got done teaching that Friday, I packed my life into a storage unit, and packed my clothes into a suitcase, and I drove 11 hours to Montana the very next day... I have been here ever since. (Don't worry, my stuff is now in my apartment and not in a storage unit.)

I knew I had to come home to Montana.  On top of all that I had going on, my dad told me that my grandma would probably not make it more than a month into summer.  With her being like a second mother to me, I wanted to be here to see her as much as I could.  Miraculously, she's still alive at the age of 95.  That's another story though, I don't want to get too far off of what I'm here to write about...

I am not a superficial person, and have gotten even more real with myself and others over the last two years.  I am friends with people because I want to be, and am drawn to all the people I'm friends with because they are wonderful people, and I enjoy being around them.

With that said, I hate how far I had to come to leave a lot of the close friends I made in college.  I call them friends, but really they were my family.  They took me in like a sister; I think we all took each other in.  We don't see each other hardly ever now, and I just miss them a lot, and feel like slowly, we are seeing each other less and less, which I absolutely hate.  I wish I could change that.

There was something wonderful to look forward to when I moved back to Montana, however.  That was all the friends that I left back here to move over to Portland when I originally left for college.  That summer that I moved back after my college graduation, a lot of my friends were living in Helena.... and then slowly wandered elsewhere (not all of them, but most of them.)  

The weaving in and out that I started talking about, is the fact that people never stay in one place.  Change is inevitable, and I don't know how much I always like it.  I think there's been some good and some not so good that has happened from large changes in my life... I hope this post is clear, I'm just thinking about how distant I'm feeling from everyone (in the physical sense.)

I love that all my friends and I always pick up where we last left off when we see each other, I just miss them.

I am also mad because my dad decided to let me know "everything two years ago was really hard for HIM and he hopes I understand how hard it was for HIM." (HIM, meaning, how hard things were for my dad.) I don't know if I should post that, but I am mad, he said it, and there it is, I just posted it.  It just got me thinking about everything that's gone on.  I feel like a very strong person, but when things like that are said, I guess I'm just really good at taking on his feelings, because it definitely got to me.  I want to go more into "what happened two years ago" sometime, but still not ready to publicize that whole story yet...  It will come someday though.  I am just thinking about absolutely everything that sucked about it tonight, and it makes me .... lots of thoughts and feelings, I don't know how to say it yet...